You’ve likely heard people say, “don’t believe everything you see on the internet,” but what many people don’t realize is that it extends to social media. Social media—and Facebook in particular—provides users with a platform to connect with each other, communicate through messages, and share photos and updates about their personal lives. However, social media platforms have advertised themselves as a place to share joyful moments and serve as a community for support and celebration. When people think about social media, they think about pictures of good times and the many likes and positive comments that they receive. Rarely do relationship problems or divorce come up when thinking of social media because they aren’t happy moments that people are inclined to share. Because of this, when it comes to marital problems or divorce, people often create a false image on Facebook and other social media platforms by trying to portray that everything is fine even when it isn’t.
Reasons Why Social Media Doesn’t Tell The Truth
Sharing Marital Problems is Taboo
The truth is that marriages have their ups and downs and with them come moments of discontent, discord, strife and hardships. But as natural as these moments are to the institution of marriage, it is considered taboo to talk about marital problems and even more so to share them on social media. There is more social acceptability when it comes to discontent in other aspects of daily life such as work or parenthood than there is with marriage. Although people can likely relate to marital problems the same way that they can to other life struggles, marriage and love tend to be portrayed in an almost constant positive light. So the thought of sharing marital problems on social media can make people feel uncomfortable out of fear of being judged or fear of feeling as if they have failed where others have succeeded. This in turn leads to a large number of people who could relate to each other ultimately feeling alone in their struggle because no one dares to share the truth.
Social Media Has History
One point of social media is to share pictures and events of your life with others. This creates a history of people’s lives that contains pictures of all the good times and milestones of the relationship. On top of that, the pictures may be accompanied by likes and congratulatory comments. After having proudly shared every milestone of the relationship, it is difficult to post about the subject of divorce. Social media doesn’t forget so people are left with two options, detailing every aspect of their relationship including the end or avoiding the topic of divorce on social media and acting like nothing happened. People often feel pressured to keep up the illusion of a picture-perfect relationship on Facebook to avoid feeling shame. The result is leaning towards the latter option and avoiding any mention of marital problems or divorce on social media.
Social Media Can Be Used Against You
Sometimes avoiding the topic of divorce on social media is more of a strategic move. Even if your profile is set to private, it doesn’t mean it is ultimately private. During the discovery process of a divorce, the opposing party’s attorney is able to request a complete copy of the other party’s Facebook/Instagram history. This is done to look for posts, comments or images that could be used against them in court. Facebook can also be used to showcase disparaging comments that might’ve been made about the spouse. Because of this, many people are advised by their attorneys to simply avoid posting anything on social media about their ongoing divorce as it could turn out to be detrimental to their case. It is also important to note that some laws or confidentiality provisions prohibit the publication of family law proceedings, this includes posting about them on social media.
A More Civil Divorce Process
Traditional divorce is often messy and causes further damage to relationships. As such, this painful reality rarely makes it to social media and instead people act as if everything is okay. But it doesn’t have to be that way. At the Divorce Expert, we utilize a new divorce process called the Proactive Divorce. The Proactive Divorce is intended to be an alternative to the traditional divorce process that focuses on resolving dissolution of marriage in a more amicable, cost-effective, and speedy manner.